Founder's Perspective: Rethinking Baby Showers – Support Over 'Stuff'

A New Perspective on Pregnancy and Postpartum

Pregnancy and postpartum can be a time of joy and excitement, but it’s also one of the most vulnerable and challenging periods for new families. Many people enter this stage unprepared for the physical, emotional, and mental obstacles they’ll face. From the whirlwind of hormonal changes to the drastic shifts in lifestyle, it’s easy to feel blindsided by how much there is to navigate. For both first-time and experienced parents, the unexpected hurdles can be overwhelming, leaving many feeling unsure about where to turn for help.

While there’s no shortage of baby advice, it often feels like the support for parents—especially mothers—is secondary to the focus on the baby. But the truth is, the well-being of the parents is just as critical, if not more so, to the health of the family as a whole.

It’s time to shift our perspective on how we approach pregnancy and postpartum, recognizing that preparing for this life-changing event should go beyond baby items and instead focus on supporting the parents who need it most.

The Misaligned Focus of Baby Registries

I recently received a baby shower invitation from a friend, and as I browsed through her registry, I noticed something all too familiar. Of the 40+ items listed, only a handful were for the mom—the rest were all for the baby and they were all products versus any services. Having been through this myself, I could immediately spot several things that weren’t essential, especially in the first six months.

This isn’t to criticize my friend, because we’ve all been there, carefully curating registries full of baby gear we think we’ll need. But it really got me thinking about how common this scenario is: first-time parents, excited but overwhelmed, often end up with lists full of things that don’t address their most fundamental needs as new families. And it’s not their fault—it’s just how our culture approaches baby showers and preparation for parenthood.

Challenging the Norm: Shift from ‘Stuff’ to Support

It’s time to rethink how we approach baby showers and registries. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting cute outfits and the latest gadgets, we need to ask ourselves: are these the things that truly help new parents thrive? What if we focused less on the stuff and more on the support?

The reality is, what new families need most isn’t more onesies or toys—it’s meaningful support. They need help navigating sleepless nights, recovering from childbirth, managing the emotional highs and lows, and adjusting to their new roles as parents. From meal trains to postpartum care kits to simply lending an empathetic ear, the most valuable gifts are often the ones that ease the transition into parenthood, not fill up the nursery.

Let’s start shifting our focus to “support over stuff”. This could mean reimagining baby showers to include gifts like postpartum recovery supplies, self-care items for the parents, or even organizing help around the house. I also propose that these events include both parents. The goal is to prioritize the well-being of the whole family, recognizing that taking care of the parents is just as important as caring for the baby. After all, a supported parent is a stronger parent—and that’s the best gift of all.

Why Pelvic Health Should Be a Priority Postpartum

One critical aspect of postpartum care that often gets overlooked is pelvic health. Baby showers and registries tend to focus on baby essentials, leaving little room for addressing the significant physical changes mothers undergo. Pelvic health, including issues like pelvic organ prolapse, is a key area that needs more attention and support.

Postpartum care for women should include a focus on pelvic health, recognizing that the recovery from childbirth involves more than just adjusting to a new baby. Pelvic floor disorders can have a profound impact on a woman’s quality of life, yet they are frequently not addressed in traditional baby preparation. By prioritizing support for pelvic health—through education, physical therapy, support garments, and other resources—we can better meet the needs of new mothers and improve their overall recovery and well-being.

Common Surprises During Pregnancy and Postpartum

The journey through pregnancy and postpartum is filled with surprises, many of which are not widely discussed but can significantly impact new mothers. Here are a few often-overlooked challenges and possible mitigation options that can be considered when preparing your baby registry or nesting party list:

Surprise: Pelvic organ prolapse diagnosis

• Mitigation: Engaging in pelvic floor physical therapy (this is a great option for anyone that is pregnant or postpartum regardless of whether you have a pelvic floor condition), using support garments (also helpful for anyone recovering postpartum), exploring pessaries, and participating in strength training can help manage and alleviate symptoms.

• Mitigation: Products like “My Bum” offer effective relief and can be a much-needed comfort during pregnancy and postpartum recovery.

• Mitigation: Emphasizing the importance of recovery tools, such as appropriate support garments, along with practical advice for a smoother healing process, can greatly benefit C-section moms. 

Understanding these common issues and how to address them can help new mothers navigate their postpartum period with greater ease and confidence.

An Alternative Idea for Baby Showers: Nesting Parties

One alternative to the traditional baby shower is the nesting party. Instead of focusing solely on baby gifts, a nesting party is designed to provide practical help and emotional support for the parents—especially the mom and her partner. It’s about preparing the whole family for the transition into parenthood, not just stocking up on baby items. A nesting party can be a great alternative to a baby shower, or it can be a great supplement to a baby shower to help you build, organize and put away everything you received at your baby shower. 

This article from The Bump explains that “a nesting party is a small gathering of close family and friends to celebrate the parents-to-be and help them get ready for the baby's arrival”. At a nesting party, guests can still bring cute gifts for the baby, but the real emphasis is on supporting the parents. Whether it's meal prepping, organizing the nursery, or helping with household tasks, the goal is to create a space where loved ones can contribute in ways that make a tangible difference. This helps free up time and energy for the new parents, allowing them to focus on healing, bonding, and adjusting to their new roles. This article from Aloha Nutrition provides tips for how to think of the tasks you want help with. 

The party also serves as an opportunity to offer emotional support, which is often just as important. Checking in on how the parents are feeling, sharing words of wisdom, or even just being present can make a huge impact. A nesting party shifts the focus from just showering the baby with gifts to nurturing the entire family, setting them up for success in the early postpartum period.

Supporting Partners Through the Transition

While much of the focus during pregnancy and postpartum tends to be on the mother and baby, it's crucial to remember that partners also face their own set of challenges. The arrival of a new baby can bring about significant emotional and mental adjustments for both parents. Partners may experience feelings of anxiety, depression, or stress that often go unnoticed or unaddressed.

It's not uncommon for partners to struggle with the pressures of supporting their new family, managing financial concerns, or adapting to a drastically changed routine. Additionally, partners may want to help but don’t always know the best way to help. These issues can be compounded by a lack of sleep, the demands of caring for a newborn, and the need to renegotiate their roles and responsibilities within the relationship.

According to an article by Robyn Horsager-Boehrer, M.D. with UT Southwestern Medical Center, 1 in 10 dads experience postpartum depression. Her article covers the signs and symptoms of postpartum depression as well as resources. Most importantly she notes that prenatal and postpartum depression occurs in both men and women, and that it is common and treatable.

The transition to parenthood requires couples to refigure out their relationship dynamics. This includes finding new ways to communicate, share responsibilities, and support each other through the ups and downs of early parenthood. It’s essential that both partners feel supported and understood, not just as parents, but as individuals navigating this significant life change.

Baby showers and nesting parties can play a pivotal role in addressing this by including ways to support both parents emotionally and mentally. Offering resources for mental health, creating spaces for open conversations, and providing support for both partners can make a profound difference. Let’s move beyond just celebrating the baby and ensure that both parents receive the care and understanding they need to thrive together as a family.

A side note: if you haven’t read Eve Rodsky’s book, Fair Play, I highly recommend it. Eve has created a system for partners to have a vocabulary to think and talk about how you manage domestic life, a system to set you up for success in your relationship and parenting, as well as a way to discover your “Unicorn Space” where you can focus on the things that keep you vibrant. The focus is on focusing on key things that matter to the family and balancing the workload between partners as well as ensuring that you each have time to focus on things that matter to you. 

Support for Second-Time Parents

When it comes to parenthood, the challenges faced by second-time parents are often overlooked. While they may have the experience of a first child, the arrival of a second baby brings a unique set of difficulties. These can include managing the needs of an older child while adjusting to a new baby, handling changes in family dynamics, and dealing with the fatigue of juggling multiple responsibilities.

This is where a nesting party can be a great resource. A nesting party for parents who already have a child or children can help the family focus on things like meal preparation, making padsicles, sorting the older kid's clothes and toys to make room for the new babies items, getting the baby clothes ready, bottle prep, etc. 

Second-time parents need just as much, if not more, support as first-time parents. Their experiences may not always be as visibly intense, but the emotional and logistical adjustments can be equally challenging. Support systems should recognize that every new baby brings its own set of demands, regardless of how many children the parents already have.

Whether it’s through practical help or emotional encouragement, ensuring that second-time parents receive adequate support is crucial for their well-being and the smooth integration of a new family member.

It’s Time to Do Better for New Parents

As we rethink the traditional baby shower and registry approach, it’s clear that the focus needs to shift from merely celebrating the baby to truly supporting the entire family. This means prioritizing the well-being of both parents, addressing often-overlooked issues like pelvic health, and recognizing the unique challenges faced by second-time parents.

Let’s move towards a model that fosters comprehensive support and understanding. It’s time to do better in how we celebrate and support new families—ensuring that both parents receive the care and attention they need to thrive. By embracing a more holistic approach, we can make a meaningful difference in the lives of new parents, setting them up for a smoother and more supported transition into parenthood.